


a simple change of seasons

by wtfoctagon



Category: Persona 3, Persona Series
Genre: Character Study, F/F, but get ready for, i guess?, they're both touch starved losers but they're trying their best, you've all heard of touch starved loser falls in love with touchy ball of sunshine, yukari keeps jumping into mitsuru's arms when she gets jumpscared and they're both awkward about it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 02:49:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18864196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtfoctagon/pseuds/wtfoctagon
Summary: Physical affection is kind of… a contentious topic for Yukari.Mostly since she hasn’t gotten much of it, if any at all, since her father passed away— well, no. Since her father’s funeral, to be exact: her mother held her tight and wept like Yukari would slip through her fingers too if she let go for even a moment.(And after that? Well. Let’s just say Yukari wasn’t missing much when she finally moved out.)





	a simple change of seasons

**Author's Note:**

> title from Carly Rae Jepsen's "Roses", from e mo tion Side B. Please go listen to her new album, Dedicated, because i've been having an emotional breakdown about it for ten hours now.

Physical affection is kind of… a contentious topic for Yukari. 

Mostly since she hasn’t gotten much of it, if any at all, since her father passed away— well, no. Since her father’s funeral, to be exact: her mother held her tight and wept like Yukari would slip through her fingers too if she let go for even a moment.

(And after that? Well. Let’s just say Yukari wasn’t missing much when she finally moved to a relative’s house.)

Sure, she’s linked arms in passing with a few friends, but that’s been pretty much the extent of it. Sometimes she watches Fuuka hang out with that Natsuki girl and feels kind of… jealous. They’re so comfortable touching each other. Maybe Natsuki more than Fuuka, but still— that kind of casual intimacy between close friends seems so… nice. 

Not that Yukari doesn’t have a best friend of her own— her first one ever, to be perfectly honest— but Hamuko seems to have her own issues with physical touch. 

(That day when Aigis found them— found  _ Hamuko,  _ and hugged her like she never needed to find anything else in the world, Yukari saw Hamuko cry for the first time. Later, at night on the beach, Hamuko quietly admitted that it was the first time anyone had hugged her since her family died. Hamuko wiped away her tears with a smile that was so unbearably bitter with the effort of trying to be sweet, and Yukari dared to hold her hand.)

And maybe that’s a reason for Yukari to start hugging Hamuko more. But, still, it’s kind of… Hard? Awkward? Receiving physical affection has Yukari all up in knots, trying to process the most appropriate way to respond— how is she supposed to go about offering it to anyone else, really? Especially since Yukari doesn’t have that natural, almost presumptuously charming way with people that Hamuko does. Hamuko is… so good at just popping into people’s lives, making them brighter, finding just the right things to say and the right moments to stay quiet to open people up while still keeping them at a distance and it’s…

(A little scary, and kind of sad. Yukari didn’t notice at first, until she saw Hamuko become an almost entirely new person with other people, and realized that she didn’t know all that much about Hamuko herself. Sometimes she just wants to grab Hamuko by the shoulders and shake her, get it into her head somehow that she doesn’t have to be a million different characters just to get people to like her.)

Anyway. Physical affection? Yeah. Not really Yukari’s thing, even if she kind of wants it to be. That’s why she’s so freaked out when it just kind of… happens. With Mitsuru, of all people.

There’s another blackout at the dorm, and they’re all gathered in the lounge telling scary stories. Well— Junpei’s telling “Scary Stories” while the rest of them try not to let on that they’re bored out of their minds. Still, she’ll never hear the end of Junpei crowing about how much of a scaredy-cat she is if she sits it out— especially after what happened last time— so she grits her teeth and decides to bear with it. Her laptop’s out of battery and the candlelight is too dim to get any homework done anyway, so it’s a nice enough excuse to get a night off, she supposes.

“Alright, is anybody ready for the next….  _ Believe it, or Don’t?”  _ Junpei drawls in his shitty narrator voice. Yukari rolls her eyes, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees and resting her jaw on a palm. 

“You’re not even that scary, man,” Akihiko scoffs around a mouthful of protein chips. “Let someone else take a turn.”

“I’ve got one!” Hamuko volunteers brightly, and Junpei laughs. 

“Really?” Junpei says. “Come on… I mean, no offence, Hamucchi, but you’re not exactly the most intimidating…”

Yukari gives him a look— really? Has he even been paying attention during Tartarus raids? That girl is  _ terrifying  _ when she wants to be. 

She accidentally catches Mitsuru’s eye— Mitsuru gives her a knowing smirk from next to her on the couch, probably thinking the same thing, and Yukari struggles to smile back before straightening up self-consciously and picking a bag of chips off the coffee table. Her face feels kind of hot. 

(And that’s been… an interesting development. They’ve gotten closer since their… confrontation in Kyoto— a little ironically, considering Yukari  _ did  _ slap Mitsuru in the face. Ever since then, whenever their eyes have met— in the hallways at school or at the dorm or whatever— where previously was a neutral nod of acknowledgement is now, consistently, a smile. Usually small, sometimes even a little shy, but always unmistakably  _ there.  _ It’s… something. Yukari doesn’t want Mitsuru to stop, exactly, she’s just… not sure what to make of it.)

“This actually happened to me, though,” Hamuko murmurs calmly, coldly, perfectly unemotionally, and wow! Yukari can feel her skin rise into goosebumps just from that! Everyone goes perfectly silent, and oh,  _ wonderful.  _ Yukari does  _ not  _ want to hear Hamuko tell a scary story. She’s going to be terrifyingly good at it, not like Junpei’s half-baked thirdhand anecdotes. 

“I think I’m actually going to turn in for the night,” Yukari says, as nonchalantly as possible. 

“Oh, what? You scared, Yukaricchi?” Junpei taunts— rather pathetically, with a crack in his voice, but it pisses Yukari off all the same. 

“What? No,” Yukari huffs, crossing her arms. “I’m bored, actually, and it’s getting late. I don’t want to be tired for school tomorrow.”

“It’s only eight. It’s okay, though, you can admit you’re just spooked. No one’s gonna judge.”

‘No One’ himself gives her a shit-eating grin that’s all the more obnoxious for the weird candlelight lighting. Yukari can see his leg shaking, though, and wants to growl— annoying bastard. He’s scared shitless and wants to take Yukari down with him. 

“You’re insufferable,” she hisses, rolling her eyes. “Whatever. Fine. I’ll stay.” Grumbling, she angrily shoves a handful of chips into her mouth. Asshole. She’ll get him back later. 

“Well. Before I start… there’s something you should know about me,” Hamuko starts, and she sounds so… disembodied as she stares blankly at the candles, the flames flickering creepily in her lifeless eyes. It’s scary. She’s scary! Yukari isn’t enjoying herself! At all! “The thing is, ever since I was little, I’ve been… haunted by a ghost.”

_ CRASH— clatter—  _ Yukari shrieks, grabbing and hiding her face in the nearest cushion— heart pounding against her ribs so hard her lungs are bruising— 

“Sorry!” Fuuka says, sheepishly. “I’m so sorry, I dropped my laptop—” 

Yukari hears Hamuko laughing through the adrenaline ringing in her ears.

“Is your laptop okay?” Hamuko giggles. “That was perfect timing!”

“It should be fine—” Fuuka sounds small and apologetic. “I’m sorry again.”

“O-oh man,” Junpei says, a little shakily, but with an obnoxious laugh nonetheless. “You got Yukari good! Look at her!”

It’s only then that Yukari’s brain slows down enough to realize that it wasn’t a cushion she grabbed, but an arm— and the soft fabric she buried her face into was the shoulder of Mitsuru’s blouse… and the hand-sized warmth on the small of her back is probably—

“S-sorry!” Yukari lets go and leans away, feeling her face burn so much she can hardly even look at Mitsuru— she feels her skin buzz with so much embarrassed energy she turns it on a laughing Junpei instead.

“Shut up! I wasn’t—” then she notices the dark patch on the crotch of his pants. “Ew! Speak for yourself, pisspants!”

“What?” He looks down, balks, then points to his soda can. “I didn’t piss my pants! I just spilled my soda!”

“Ha!” Yukari scoffs triumphantly. “You were so scared, you dumped your soda on yourself. Who’s the scaredy-pants now?”

Junpei stammers angrily for a bit before Mitsuru sighs.

“I think that’s enough excitement for tonight,” she declares, standing up. “Please excuse us— I have a few matters to discuss with Takeba before I retire. Iori, I trust that you’ll clean up after yourself?”

“Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, senpai,” he grumbles.

“Night, senpai!”

“Night, Mitsuru.”

Mitsuru nods. “I will see you all in the morning. Takeba?”

She looks at Yukari and tilts her head inquiringly— almost like a puppy— and Yukari blinks a few times before shooting up from her seat.

“Y-yeah! Coming!” She resists the urge to slap a hand over her mouth when she stammers. As if she needs more embarrassment right now. 

The trek up to the third floor is long and silent and Yukari stares resolutely at her slippers the entire time. She’s trying not to think about how solid Mitsuru’s shoulder was, or how soft her blouse, or how warm her hand was against her back—

“Yukari?”

Yukari almost jumps again as they stop in front of her room. “Yeah?”

Mitsuru tilts her head again— she does that a lot, it’s kind of cute— frowning slightly. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah!” Yukari tries to laugh, her insides clenching at how fake it sounds. “Sorry, just got a little scared, I guess. Hamuko can be…”

“Abjectly frightening at times?” Mitsuru offers with a small laugh. “I don’t think any of us, save for Aigis and Koromaru, were completely unphased.” 

Yukari laughs wryly. “Yeah. Still, though, I’m…” she coughs. “I’m sorry about jumping you there. I really didn’t mean to.”

Mitsuru shakes her head. She looks so soft right now. “I didn’t mind. I actually—” she stops, then brings one hand up to hold her other arm, like she does sometimes when she’s upset or nervous— (why would she be nervous right now?) “Seeking a physical anchor under distress is an entirely common reflex. I have no objections to being that anchor for you, should you wish it.”

Yukari blinks. That’s such a… convoluted way of admitting to something, though Yukari isn’t really sure what that is. And she can’t quite tell in the dim light, but it almost looks like— it almost looks like Mitsuru is  _ blushing.  _

“Anyhow.” Mitsuru clears her throat. “I should get some rest. Goodnight, Yukari.”

“W-wait,” Yukari says as Mitsuru turns towards her door— she wants— she wants to know what it was that Mitsuru was really saying, what the heck she’s blushing about— 

But Mitsuru turns towards her, looking almost furtive beneath the curtain of hair covering half her face, almost vulnerable, and Yukari… loses her nerve entirely.

“Didn’t— didn’t you say you wanted to talk to me about something?”

“Ah… forgive me,” Mitsuru says softly, one hand on her doorknob. “It was a bit of a ruse. You seemed uncomfortable and I… wished to provide you an inconspicuous escape, of sorts.”

“Oh.” Yukari rubs her arm. She doesn’t know why she’s slightly disappointed. “Thanks.”

“You’re… very welcome. Well, then, goodnight.”

Yukari nods. “Night.”

She hurriedly turns around and enters her own room, feeling… something. Some kind of nervous buzzing in her chest, almost like anxiety, but not quite— she leans against the back of the door and gulps.

… What the hell was that?

 


End file.
